Well where should I start...... for the most part I am not really a bad person just the victom of some bad decisions. I had never really understood credit or the ability of it to affect your livleyhood. I have always been perceived as a very smart individual yet where are all these smarts now because I feel like I have no idea what to do with my life other than put it in GOD's hands. Talented well yes I do beleive that I am. I have graduated college yet I am still in debt with student loans over $25,000 which are increasing of course. My neglect to my financial situations have definitly caught up to me and of course at the most inconvienent time of my life. I as most college students planned to graduate college and receive that great opportunity that college added to your life. The idea of not living how I was raised ..... never knowing if bills were going to be paid on time or at all. I have managed to live for the most part up to the standards that society has set. I really want to fix all my wrongs, fix my credit, change my financial future and for the most part live my life through GOD. I just don't know where to start. Due to a poor decision I made in Dec 2004 to drink and drive I was left with a suspended license, and fines that totaled over 2,000. Yes they are still there. Working check to check this extra money is so hard to find to pay these "punishments" not to mention they want to go to so many classes and take these counciling sessions that of course cost $$$$$ which you are already strapped for. What did I do NOTHING its definitly haunting me now. I recenlty lost the best job I have ever had. I am in the process of being evicted from my apartment b/c my roomate whome I had given $ for rent never took it to the office and managed to intervien the office manger from calling me to let me know that rent wasn't paid. 3 months rent totalling $3,800 due to late fees and penalties which accrued. I have managed to scrape up $3,000 I have the approval and respect of my apartment managers but that doesn't pay the bills. With my electricity shut off, the student loan office garnishing my wages... which I no longer make since I lost my job due to my inability to arrive to work on time. I feel like there is no end I know that I am the direct cause of all of my misfortunes yet I see no light in my tunnel. The State of TEXAS wants fine money yet I cant drive to work. Catching a ride or depending on someone else is not cutting it and w/o the financial means to obtaine a occupational lic I am left with my back against the wall.My sister had her baby last week, a beautiful baby boy Brennan Reid. I just want him to have an uncle he can be proud of, considering he doesn't have a father he can be proud of, the deadbeat left my sister when he found out she was pregnant and that is why she moved to Texas form Idaho to start over. I havn't given her the best idea for a "new start" either. My father is helping as much as he can but even w/o a job I make more that my father. Typical sob story I know..... I have managed to live the 26 years with the thought of all my accomplishment be owed to none other than myself and GOD. I have realized now that I can't do it alone at least mentally anyhow its too much.On a positive note I got my electricity turned back on and am just trying to avoid selling anymore of my personal items to cover any left over debts. I worked so hard to obtain everything I have and to have to sell it tends to be more than I can handle. Truth be told I am mentally and physically exausted and do not know what else to do. I have tapped every possible resource and absolutly mentally drained. I know that I have amazing potential to do whatever I want in life.... yet I feel so held back due to my past financial obligations.....which I intend to pay back just havent had the opportunity to. I am not supposed to drive, if I get pulled over I will go to jail. Yet I am unable to affored a occupational lic as with lawyer fees it is around $700.00 on top of finding a job and managing the $11 in my checking account and not falling behind on my other bills ....not to mention my fines now totaling over $2,000+.... I just want to crawl in the corner and forget about it all. NOT AN OPTION ...... If anyone has experienced any thing like this and was successfull in overcoming please , please , please contact me and give me hope. Or even if you failed at least let me prepare for whatever it is I am about to face. Just need a starting point or some sort of guidance as to where or how to start fixing my life so that I can be Happy, or prepare myself to self -destruct with dignity.... if there is such a thing. If you have read all this Thanks as it was not meant to take up your time. I am sure I can get through it especially coming from my background ..... something has got to give at some point...
Regards
